By Milcah Tanimu

Renowned Nigerian marriage counselor and influencer, Shamseddin Giwa, took to his official Twitter account to share essential tips on handling misunderstandings in marriages and courtships, aiming to help couples stay together harmoniously.

In his concise yet powerful message, he emphasizes the importance of mindful communication during conflicts. Instead of resorting to insults, Shamseddin suggests paying attention to the words used to express emotions and thoughts, allowing both partners to express themselves and actively listen to each other.

He urges couples to remember the ultimate purpose of their conversations during disagreements – not to win an argument, but to resolve the issue at hand, learn from it, and grow together.

Shamseddin also advises interpreting words not only for their surface meaning but also for their underlying intentions. He discourages bringing up past events as ammunition during arguments and encourages focusing on the current problem independently.

Furthermore, he emphasizes that conflicts can be opportunities for both partners to teach and learn positive behaviors, helping each other grow and improve as individuals and as a couple.

The counselor advocates for couples to be ready to walk away from an argument when necessary, especially before it escalates to a physical altercation. He stresses using various conversational tools, such as pausing, rewinding points for better understanding, and adjourning discussions to address issues effectively and calmly.

Shamseddin stresses the importance of prompt resolution of conflicts, avoiding letting them linger and cause further strain on the relationship. Additionally, he advises couples to plan in advance on how they will handle misunderstandings, which fosters a rational approach to problem-solving when emotions are not running high.

In summary, Shamseddin Giwa believes that maintaining a focus on resolving issues, rather than winning arguments, is crucial for successful marriages. Understanding the true meaning behind words and using conflicts as teaching moments are essential for growth. Couples should strive to exit discussions knowing they gave their best effort and be willing to walk away if a situation becomes physical. By utilizing effective conversational tools and addressing conflicts promptly, couples can strengthen their relationships and maintain a healthy, harmonious bond.