By Bola BOLAWOLE

“Last week we postponed discussion on the coming governorship elections in Ekiti and Osun states…”

“Yes! Nigeria has become a country of one day, one trouble. If you don’t take them piecemeal, you can get choked…”

“Or run mental, as they say! You can easily develop high blood pressure! In the past two weeks, I have lost count of the number of scandals that broke out, beginning with the two-fighting between Alaafin and Ooni…”

“What of a Canadian court declaring the country’s two leading parties, APC and PDP, as terrorist organisations! Another United States court jailed a Yoruba oba for 419.”

“And do you think APC and PDP are really not terrorist organisations? Which of them has been courageous enough to fight terrorism with the single-mindedness of purpose it deserves or call out its known sponsors, defenders, and financiers?”

“I see! So, these foreign countries even know us better than we know ourselves?”

“They do! They have reliable information on happenings in the country. And they are not afraid to hit the nail on the head.”

“But our leaders have protested vigorously…”

“What else did you expect? Their protest is just for the records! To further hoodwink the citizenry while business continues as usual”

“Sad! Even if they are not terrorist organisations per se, their failure to stem terrorism is criminal negligence of duty…”

“Despite the billions of Naira they cream off every month as security votes! Yet, nowhere is safe…”

“What that means is that it is not the Presidency alone that is the culprit? The state governments…”

“And even the local governments! The traditional and religious institutions are not spared. Nigeria has become a huge crime scene…”

“Crime has therefore become the new normal. It is now everyone to himself and God for us all…”

“I beg your pardon, which God? Person no dey tire? Even if God works 24/7 on Nigeria, He will still throw up His arms in frustration at the end of the day…”

“How can that be? We are talking of God Himself…”

“How can that not be? Have you not heard it said that heaven helps those who help themselves?

Have Nigerians not shown any inclination that they want to help themselves? “

“No country in the whole world prays as fervently as Nigeria does, but…”

“With what heart and with what hands? Tell me!”

“Exactly! Hypocrisy and eye-service, abi?”

“The people who are praying, and those leading them in prayer, are like the blind leading the blind! Where will they all end up?”

“You must be correct! I read on social media recently that a man of God, one of the few still speaking the truth, was invited by an umbrella organisation of Nigerian pastors/churches to a conference but in the end, he was not allowed to speak…”

“See what I mean? They cannot afford to hear the truth…”

“But didn’t the Bible say ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free?”

“Knowing the truth is one thing; speaking and doing it is another…”

“Then who is serving God and who is going to heaven?”

“Please, leave that alone and let’s discuss other matters! An oba was jailed in the US for internet fraud; yet, the EFCC’s focus here is on hapless university students. I think we should re-name the EFCC as Yahoo-Boys Crimes Commission (YBCC). They run after boys, not men!”

“Let’s leave EFCC alone for another day. The PDP has managed to hold its NEC meeting, but the governors’ dressing, like mullahs, leaves much to be desired…”

“Quite symbolic! Zamfara was where Sharia, one of the immediate causes of the insecurity walloping the country, was started by the then Gov. Ahmed Yerima during the presidency of Chief Olusegun Obasanjo”

“I am sure the symbolism was lost on them. They can be accused of harbouring an Islamization agenda…”

“Meaning, then, that the chickens have come home to roost! They were the same party and people railing against APC’s Muslim-Muslim ticket…”

“Which is why they say what goes around comes around! When digging a pit for an enemy, make sure it is not too deep, as was the case with Haman against Mordecai in the Bible!”

“Exactly! That apart, did you notice that some of the governors looked like masquerades in their Sharia costume?”

“The things that politicians do in their quest for power! Some of them were sweating like Christmas chicken!”

“Awkward, like when Peter Obi went to the mosque to join in Muslim prayers…”

“Oh, did you watch it? He could not even cross his legs properly like the Muslims do…”

“Don’t blame him! He is not used to doing that. But what amazed me most was what he was mumbling when the Muslims were praying in Arabic! Or does Peter Obi also speak Arabic?”

“Perhaps, he was reciting the Catholic ecumenical creed! You know he is catholic…”

“Our politicians’ desperation for power can’t just be for the purpose of service. Na by force?”

“Ask those who are already killing themselves, as it were, over the same pursuit of power in Ekiti and Osun where elections are coming up very soon…”

“Another harvest of buying and selling is on the way! I know the giver and receiver of bribes are both guilty before the law but one must be more guilty than the other…”

 “If we continue to think that way, we will never solve the problem. It takes two to tango. Our people say: Ipa o ra’ja; ipa o ta…? “

“What does that mean?”

“I cannot force you to buy my market; you, too, cannot force me to sell to you. Osun may still be dicey but Ekiti appears to me a settled matter, ceteris paribus, as they say…”

“How do you mean? PDP is strong in Ekiti; ADC is gathering momentum there as well”

“Mention just one controversy that trails the APC governor of that state: He suffers no godfather/godson crisis; he has no problem with his party; former governors of the state across board are supportive of him; his Yoruba ’Omoluwabi’ ethos is second to none; he has no trending scandals on social media…”

“What of infrastructural deficit? I saw photographs of roads even within his own local government that were pitiable!”

“Why didn’t they also show pictures of the roads that he built? Don’t get me wrong; he might not have solved all Ekiti problems. In fact, no governor can; even if he has 10 terms of office. But a level-headed governor carrying critical stakeholders along and making incremental progress is to be preferred to a garrulous, quarrelsome and profligate leader…”

“But what of Osun state where the dancing governor is fighting the political battle of his life?”

“Osun election will be interesting for many reasons. Will Gov. Adeleke remain in PDP to contest the election or will he defect to APC?”

“No one knows the truth for now. Some said he wanted to defect, but that APC rejected him…”

“In Nigeria, the more you look, the less you see, as Max Romeo crooned, but Adeleke remains in PDP and he is the incumbent. Mind you, Nurudeen was in Zamfara with the other PDP governors”

“Who is Nurudeen?”

“Jackson, of course!”

“I am lost!”

“Dummy! Nurudeen Jackson Ademola Adeleke is the sitting governor of Osun state!”

“I see! Incumbency is strong in Nigerian elections. Besides, the Adelekes have deep pockets…But do you think he can dance his way to second term?”

“It depends! His performance in office. What assurance can he give Mr. President towards 2027…”

“What has the President got to do with it? “

“Then you know nothing! Two embarrassing incidents happened to the president in the 2023 presidential election: he lost his Osun native state to Atiku and his Lagos adopted state/political base to Peter Obi. He will give his blood to prevent a repeat performance in 2027”

“I see!  The Adeleke family recently met with the president…”

“Yes, behind closed doors; but no one knows what was discussed. Another critical issue is who flies the APC flag in Osun state…”

“The field is crowded at the moment, but I understand Iyiola Omisore, former deputy governor, former Senator, and former APC National Secretary, is one of the frontrunners…”

“But did you also hear that he has a mountain to climb?“

“Which of the mountains – Everest or Kilimanjaro? And what for? To demonstrate that he is hale and hearty like Rotimi Amaechi who ran round the stadium the other time?”

“No! The mountain this time is human! A former governor as well as former national chairman of the ruling party…”

“You mean Chief Bisi…? “

“Ssshh! You don’t rush to mention big names just like that! ”

“Sorry, but is the alleged ‘mountain’ not the same as the one who climbed on Omisore’s back to achieve his own governorship ambition years back?”

 “You will say I warned you! If you step on powerful toes, you are on your own! Our people say politics does not stay rooted in the same spot…”

“Is that why one good turn should not deserve another?“

“Strike the iron when it is still hot. If in doubt, ask Atiku!”

“Why Atiku?

“Then ask Emilokan!”

“You confuse me even more! Atiku! Emilokan! What is the meaning of that?”

“Make that a topic for another day”!