‎By Aisha Lawal

‎It’s 100 level, first day of school, only minutes before the lecture starts. You sit in class, nervous, unsure of what university would bring, the room feels alive, filled with laughter, occasional flipping of pages, and phone notifications chiming in every now and then. You look around and observe, trying to understand what’s going on, wondering how everyone seems to have it all figured out.

‎The lecturer comes in and lessons begin, but one question remains on your mind: “How on earth does everyone have it all together?”

‎It’s a feeling that many students know, but hardly admit. The sense of already being behind when your life hasn’t even fully begun, trying to understand where you fit in, and what directions you need to take in orders to move forward. As time goes on, one thing is clear: university isn’t just a place for formal education.

‎University promises knowledge, degrees, and career paths. But somewhere between the lectures and group projects, students start to learn something else entirely, something that isn’t necessarily taught, almost like an unspoken rule. From navigating friendships to mastering the art of confidence, university teaches lessons that no students mention.

‎This is the hidden curriculum; the lessons no lecturer teaches, and yet somehow becomes the most important lesson we carry into life outside the campus.

‎The Illusion of having it all together:

‎One of the first lessons that students encounter is the illusion of having it all planned out; it is also the quickest lesson to learn. There is an unspoken pressure in university to appear like you know what you are doing – even when most of the time that is not the case. From faking confidence, social life, and performance, there is this expectation that you should know what you are doing; it’s like a standard that is unintentionally set but regardless students try to live up to it.

‎Though it doesn’t look that way, there are many students that are uncertain.

‎“Yeah, I believe there are people who are not certain they just act like they are; because where are you even flying to? I feel like they try to fit into different aesthetics all at once,” Aisha, a 100 level student, said.

‎Many students are navigating the same reality, the same doubts, the same questions. The only difference is that some have learned how to hide these things; the art of pretending in a nutshell.

‎“I believe people try to be what they are not – to fit into a particular status,” she stated.

‎Confidence isn’t just about being sure of what you are doing. While that is one thing, sometimes, it is the ability to keep moving forward, despite not having all the answers.

‎Networking without knowing:

‎From most university success stories, a common denominator is networking. Networking is always mentioned as an important factor. Yet, for many students, the idea feels foreign.

‎The truth is networking is inevitable. It has, most likely, happened, and you don’t even know it.

‎Networking happens in group discussions, in shared annoyance over assignments, in casual greetings that turn into conversations. The person who sat beside you during the exam could be a future colleague. The person who you met during registration could play an important role in your life.

‎What students struggle with isn’t networking itself, but connections – how to engage freely, and how to build relationships that go beyond casual interactions.

‎These are not lessons that are taught in slides, and even if they are, they wouldn’t change anything if not implemented. These are the things that are learnt through experiences, and would only progress with time.

‎Lessons you can’t study for:

‎There are certain things that no course outline prepares you for. For example, no lecturer will teach you how to recover from the embarrassment of giving a wrong answer in class, especially when you mustered the courage to say it. No exam or test gives you the ability to read a room, manage conflict in a group project, or speak confidently – even when you are unsure of yourself.

‎And yet, these are the moments that shape the way you go about things in life.

‎“I feel like there are things you just have to learn through experiences, because it’s one thing to be told, but to actually go through it is another thing entirely,“ Esther said.

‎This is where social intelligence comes in – not in theory, but through these experiences. Students learn when to speak, when to listen, how to adapt to new people, and how to represent themselves in a way they want to be identified as.

‎Over time, these skills become like second nature. Through these experiences they shape how students interact, how they handle challenges, and how to navigate in spaces outside the class room.

‎Failure as a lesson:

‎Academic spaces often emphasise success, high grades, and achievements. But for some, the most important lessons come from the opposite – failure.

‎It may come in the form of a bad grade, a missed opportunity, or a moment where your expectations are not met. These experiences are difficult, but they also come with lessons.

‎Failure challenges us to do better. It helps us reflect on all the events that led up to that moment, and teaches us that life doesn’t always go as planned, as there can be bumps along the way, and that is completely fine.

‎What defines us isn’t failure. It’s the choice of moving forward, or giving up.

‎“I have had many setbacks since I first started out here. Like when I had a carryover in 200 level. Omo, I thought it was the end for me. But as time went on, I realised these setbacks are just part of life, and you shouldn’t let them define you,” a final year student recalled.

‎The learning that stays:

‎After graduation, it is very unlikely that every lecture or every exam will be remembered.

‎But do you know what will? The ability to adapt in unfamiliar situations. The confidence to speak. The understanding of how to connect with others. The resilience built through setbacks.

‎These are the lessons that extend beyond university. They influence every aspect of your life – from careers to relationships, and personal growth, these lessons shape you in ways formal education alone cannot.

‎In the end, maybe the purpose of university wasn’t to have everything all together.

‎Maybe it was to teach students how to grow through experiences, and to give students the habit of accepting change, because nothing in life is constant.

‎In the end, the most important lessons are not the ones you write in exams, but rather they are the ones that shape who you become.

‎(Aisha is a Mass Communication student at the Nile University of Nigeria, Abuja.)